At 5pm on August 12, while Kevin
was holding her hand, my Kasan took her final breath and exited the hell that had become her life for the past month.
She departed very peacefully and
painlessly, and we know that now, she is out of pain and has moved on to a higher plain. She had decided earlier that
day that she was tired of being in pain. I would also have to assume, she was tired of not living life and only existing
in a hospital bed. She asked for the oxygen to be turned off, her feeding tube to be removed, the IV's to be stopped, and
her traec tube to be removed. At 2:30pm, our doctor did as she asked.
While mourning our loss, we were
contacted by Great Wall China Adoption (our adoption agency) and told that we will be leaving on September 11 for China to
get our beautiful Keira Takeda, our first child - she is Kasan's 3rd and youngest grandchild. It was a very bittersweet day
at the very least.
I selfishly had wanted Kasan to
hang on because, I don't know much about raising a baby. But I know that she will be beside us all the way - lending her support
and nudging us in the proper direction when we have questions. I'm not certain what to do now... I lost my bestest best
friend in the world. She was the one that was always home when I got out of school - the one that listened to my
trivial matters of how so-and-so didn't like me because I was half-Japanese. She was my protector and my confidante; there
was nothing that was too sacred to discuss. As as is obvious now, she was definitely the glue that held our family together.
She was the calm gentle person
that taught me that sometimes you had to turn the other cheek when you encountered mean people. She never pushed her Buddhist
beliefs on me - but gently showed me what she believed to be the truth, and allowed me to make my own decisions.
Now, I'm not certain what I will
do without her. Kasan was a very gentle and kind soul which I know that those of you that met her can vouch. She never had
a harsh world to say of anyone - even those that were prejudice of her. She used to tell me to treat people with kindness
because in the end, karma will find you. While in the hospital, when people would come to see her, she would smile and pat
their hand; she was trying to comfort those around her that were trying to comfort her. She always put those she loved ahead
of her own needs and wants.
Thank you for all your support
and understanding during this difficult time. Kasan once told me that you cannot have too many *true* friends. Thank you for
being a true friend.
